Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Stalking Suffered

Felicitations to my pal Tengrain who was kind enough to link to me, and the good folk at Crooks & Liars...and to YOU, dear reader.

Happy holidays!


Saturday, December 20, 2014

Last minute gift ideas

Jolly Saint Dick

Jolly Saint Dick knows who's been naughty...and very naughty...and he has detailed, unshredded files in a secure undisclosed location. So be nice, and consume in an orderly fashion until this 'goodwill' craze blows over. Perhaps one would like a board all know the rules.

Just Look At Their Eyes Light Up

Or maybe a writing instrument is in order...those pardons won't jot themselves down.

Sooper Sekrit Signing Statement Pen

For some of us, travel might be just the thing to shed those winter blahs.

What Price Fleadom?

Whatever your pleasure, have a safe, enjoyable Holiday time (where allowed), and remember...

Don't Tase Me Ho Ho Ho


Tuesday, May 06, 2014


I have decided not to continue contributing to this blog. I no longer have the time, money, or inclination to merely poke fun at the monsters in the mist of America's twilight - for the dream is quite over, and I am incapable of cynically profiting from and promoting my trifles within the phantasmagorical ruins of a nightmare.

Thank you and respect to all those who commented, reposted and followed over the years, and my sincere hope for good fortune in the new reality that we all inhabit - even those wise fools who think that money and power will shield them from what fate has waiting.

And to those who brought us to this place and setting - who allowed mendacity, greed, hubris, willful ignorance, and situational ethics to rule their lives so that they could seek dominion over others for their own benefit and no one else...Enjoy your ill-gotten gains in this world, for the world to come will not be as hospitable to your ilk. Believe it.


'...But that was long ago... and now my consolation is in the stardust of a song.'

Monday, April 28, 2014

retro darkblack #12 - Nuts To Gun Nuts

Faster, President! Drill! Drill!

Lo, the canned huntress has returned, offering the cordite-stenched unwashed (who cling to their guns and whatever compliant God that will allow them to do as they please) a glimpse of gams and a gnashing of gums to spew her jingo-jangle dominionist drivel with. Please give a lukewarm golf clap for this blaspheming shill and her determination to verbally soil herself for attention, demonstrating a personality warp rivaled only by Ted Nugent and Ann Coulter...two other time thieves of dwindling relevance.


Wednesday, April 09, 2014

retro darkblack #11 - Preznit Give Me Watercolors

Warhol U Doin', Boy?


It's nice (if by nice one infers mildly creepy) to think that my former muse and I share the same online art supply resource...but I'd rather that he puts his hand to such derivative and sub-amateurish works, as opposed to continuing his official quest of global despoilment and ravaging on behalf of his well-heeled stakeholders.


Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Ladies & gentlemen, today's face of American conservatism...

Liar Of The Right Worm

Ann Coulter, a dabbler in zesty alternate realities and other fictive flights of fancy who opines that legal immigration over the last 50 years to partake of the parts of a dwindling American Dream that are not exclusively for the lily-white just like getting raped. Really.

In her quest to say any bright shining lie that will gain the attention that she so pathetically craves, the line between propaganda and insanity grows ever more blurred.
Please proceed, and may fate take a hand with you and your nonsense.

A Disciplined Mind


Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Point That Thing At Yourself, Dick

Who's Next?

Crooks & Liars:
Former vice president Dick Cheney went on Fox's "Hannity" show last night to discuss the recent plans to reduce the Army to levels not seen since 1940 — through a reduction in personnel and removing a class of warplanes from the field — in an effort to cut budgets after a decade of war, calling the decision "over the top."
He told host Sean Hannity that President Obama would "much rather spend the money on food stamps than he would on a strong military or support for our troops.” ... Earlier in the interview, Cheney said, "The fact of the matter is he’s having a huge impact on the ability of future presidents to deal with future crises that are bound to arise. ... I can guarantee you, there’s never going to be a call from the future secretary of defense to Barack Obama, to thank him for what he’s done to the military. This is just devastating.”

But yet, as with most other things in the cold and unfriendly word of Dick, there's another side to the story:
Cheney pared defense while Pentagon chief - The Boston Globe, April 29, 2004 WASHINGTON – Vice President Dick Cheney, who has been charging that John Kerry would be a dangerous president because he opposed many key weapons that the military now relies on, himself presided over the biggest cutbacks in defense programs in modern history when he was secretary of defense under the first President Bush.
As Pentagon chief from 1989 to 1993 Cheney canceled or cut back many of the same weapons programs – bombers, fighter planes, battle tanks – that he says Kerry tried to deprive the armed forces of.
Many of the Cheney-era cuts were made at the end of the Cold War, when the administration of President George H.W. Bush was seeking to reduce the size of the military. But some of these downsizing efforts would have affected the military of today.

'In the name of Christian justice, someone should cut your head off!' - Charles Manson.


Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Achy Breaky Art

No Way To Treat Your Toys

Being something of an minor league art cannibal, I've been observing the recent controversy created when a local Miami artist acted on impulse (or in a premeditated fashion, depending on who you believe) and broke elements of an expensive art installation to protest the museum's perceived lack of community outreach, once again exposing a typical gallery game to light where the well-known are used (and abused) and the unknown are ignored for the sake of commerce. Plus ca change...
An irony abounds here, however - for the artist whose work hit the tiles has himself made a name by indulging at times in forms of vandalism for the sake of a greater point - in his case, to protest the masses' uncaring attitude toward their own cultural history. A fair point, and yet...
The fact that this same artist now decries such highbrow hooliganism holds the irony, and the comparison used to justify his revisionism ('You cannot stand in front of a classical painting and kill somebody and say that you are inspired by the artist') makes as little sense as a purely destructive act committed in and of itself. Who is 'killing somebody' here, in the interests of metaphoric comparison?
Further to that, actual murder has allegedly inspired art, as art has been the inspiration for murder...which thus dooms the comparison to irrelevance, in any case.
It's likely that the art was overvalued for insurance purposes, as the artist acknowledged - and my opinion is that it is overvalued for artistic purposes also, as dipping an ancient relic in high-visibility paint provides a point (to me) abstract at best and nebulous at the worst, much like another artist who took the mundane and made it more...mundane.

'Fuck off', indeed.


retro darkblack #6 - One Of You Shall Betray Conservatism

One Of You Shall Betray Conservatism

...from 2007.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

retro darkblack #5 - Hotter Than Mo' Hell

Hotter Than Mo' Hell

'Mr. Sony,
Bring me a hit
Don't make me market
this tired, worn-out shit
Give me a first quarter like Occidental...
And scratch artist tsouris that drives me mental!

Mr. Sony (Yeessss?)...
Let's make a star
not just an assclown
who beats a guitar
Give them some talent that we can trumpet
and an image that just screams strumpet!

Mr. Sony,
A juicy payday
would be so peachy for my 401K
So please try to be gallant
Mr. Sony, bring me,
please, please, please,
...bring me a bastard with talent!'

...from 2007.

Tuesday, February 04, 2014

Vanilli's On The Half Sellout

Two Nitwit Morning

Those of you out there willing to still spare a glance have no doubt noted that I don't really offer as much music around here as before (cue Miles Davis here, hipsters).

There could be several plausible explanations for this sordid state of affairs, of course. The most obvious one (to me, at least) was that, much like sex, music is far more fun to do or watch than to type about...And I'm not going to have that kind of fun typing around here.

The others are far more subjective. I'm fresh out of proselytization sauce for my word salads, perhaps. Selah.

However, I'm always a mark for a ginned-up controversy - it's been my stock in trade for years, and this one in particular positively reeks of the juniper berry.

CBC News
The Red Hot Chili Peppers decided long ago they were never going to mime a live performance. The band made an exception for the National Football League, it turns out. The group's bassist, Flea, said in a letter to fans posted on the group's website Tuesday that the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame members pretended to play along to a pre-taped track of "Give It Away" during the American football championship Super Bowl halftime show as Anthony Kiedis sang live. The request came from NFL officials who felt it was too difficult to pull off a completely live performance because of potential sound issues. The admission came after observers noted Flea and his bandmates weren't plugged in while performing Sunday at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey.
Well! I am shocked! My solicitors will be in touch! And all that rubbish.

From the top, I think Flea has pretty much put it with reason, albeit in a tragically flawed way:

...and one must give props to Anthony, who did it live, so good on him and now lose the 'stache there, Sonny Porno.


I'm always amused by these 'music controversies', because they say much about the actual attention and retention span of a mass audience over time. Quite frankly, many among us would do far better to always be aware of the incessant playacting and sideshows offered without apology around the dial and around the clock, let alone awareness of the things that actually matter. As imaginative as I might think I am or pretend to be, I cannot imagine a mind that suspends logical activity to that degree within the parameters of observing such tightly scripted and cued major entertainment, sporting and political events upon which more money and other intangibles than most of us can dream of lay tremulously upon a very tight line. Even commonplace musical events - or at the very least, commonplace to the performers (ahem) - are not to be left to chance. I daresay if one could identify this somewhat credulous demographic and cross-correlate with other known deviancies, a quite remarkable psychological profile might emerge for further study.

Meanwhile, let's observe these rank offenders against the common perception that everything is real in simpler times, when their hickory trickery fakery was far less obvious. Young children, avert thine eyes.



Friday, January 24, 2014

The Glenn Beck Memorial Weenie Roast

It has been brought to my attention that a former muse of mine, Glenn Beck, has had an...epiphany of late. The epiphany in question appears to concern shades of 'regret' over former feelings, and the intemperate language used to express those feelings.

Excuse me while I stifle a mild chuckle, dear reader.

Right, I'll carry on. The only things, IMO that Mr. Beck 'regrets' are losing all that sweet, sweet ad revenue and the legions of wild, fiery eyes glancing in his direction while he danced his little pavane on the corpse of reasonable discourse. Disclaimer: I do have a three-legged mutt in this low-rent race...being called out on FOX network and not having my name spelled right may have ruined a 1/4 second of an hour in a day like any other. But I'll get over the pain, in time.

Nevertheless...Since I'm stubbornly basking in the butthurt of days gone by, let's review some of Glenn's contribution to my portfolio, shall we?

Imagine that...I'm starting to feel better already.


Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Old Memes In New Bottles 26: Whine Harder

Crooks & Liars:
Sean Hannity told his radio audience on Monday afternoon that he plans to flee for Florida or Texas. “I want you to know that and I can’t wait to get out of here,” he said. “I really can’t. I don’t want to pay their 10 percent state tax anymore. I live in the second-highest property-taxed county in the entire country in Nassau County. I can’t wait to sell my house to somebody who wants it. I can’t wait to pay no state income tax down in Florida or Texas.” He added: “I haven’t decided yet, but I’m leaning Florida because I like the water and I like to fish.”

Oh, you like the water? Good.


Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

The Jersey Bounce

Throw down the cones
Tie up the lanes
When it goes south
Deflect the blame
Don't get surprised
when doing the Jersey Bounce